Bretton Barbarians: Savaged Kingmaker

No Arm done...

We started staring at the multi-coloured Pony and decided as a group to track our horses as we needed them.

Both Mikhail and Kern Duetzia tracked and we followed.

After a few hours of following we came upon what appeared to be the biggest tree I’d ever seen. It was huge even though we were a mile or so away.

Kern Duetzia was sent off, now sporting some stunning new colours (after he rolled around in the grass to remove the paint – and failed) towards the Tree to discover what had happened to our horses.

After what appeared to be quite a wait I noticed Kern jumping up and down. Even though I pointed this out to the others, they still couldn’t see the blue Gnome, so we decided to move towards him.

Noticing that we were tired after our journey on foot, we decided to drop equipment to relieve ourselves of any additional encumbrance. For myself this was my satchel and staff (my bow was broken and so my arrows/quiver were lost on my horse).

After meeting back up with Kern he told us that he’d seen nothing, even though he was covered in a bright yellow paint. Maugoth noticed a large hole at the base of the tree after Kern pointed it out to him. Maugoth then made his way over to the tree to enter the large hole, but we decided that our horses were more important and Maugoth could always return to let the Fairy folk have their reward.

Soon after we heard the barking of dogs and discovered our horses surrounded by a pack of wild dogs. Mikhail drew his Iron sword and made his way over to attack and protect the dogs, only to find he missed his footing and span around falling over into the middle of the pack…

Lucky for him, Kern decided to blow his dog whistle. The pack stopped barking and made Kern their new target. Both Maugoth and myself then started to kill off the dogs, but 6 dogs proved more than enough to get to Kern.

Poor Kern. Kern was ripped apart and after just a few seconds of fighting, was seen to have a limp arm from the biting. Between us we killed off the remaining dogs and I quickly looked over Kerns wounds.

I think tiredness affected me. I was unable to use normal healing to do anything as the wounds were far too bad and my magic proved uselss and I think his arm is now damaged permanently……

BUGS! I Hate bugs!

Further exploration of the Gold cave exposed us to an attack by 3 beetles. Dispatched with ease by Adrolin ,Kern and Maugoth. As we made our way to the back of the cave complex we encountered a corpse covered in the dreaded Swarm! of small little nippy horrors. We beat a fast exit out of the cave ,they didn’t want to come into the sunlight and scuttled back into the cave. However we have now discovered that 3 horses are missing and kerns pony is standing covered in paint of various colours , with no saddle or equipment. There’s also a strange sweet smell in the air…..ARSE!

Crispy BBQ
Hot! Hot! Hot!

Further examination of the cave shows that the walls are lined with flaked gold. A bit deeper into the cave we find some more beetles that glow red. They also explode into flaming balls of liquid when killed. Maugoth becomes a flaming orc for a short time, but his iron constitution and thick skin saves him ( although he now smells of singed pork) .His armour and shield have been damaged. We still need to finish looking around the cave complex, but our limited light source is a problem. The group retires to cool down and sort themselves out.

Look out! BATS!

We left our camp and continued to map and search the map location where we previously had found those Dragon Folk.

We spent a day and a half and found clearings with what appeared ‘small holes’ that had been dug. It took a few camps before I noticed these appeared to be the remains of the planting (and thus harvesting) of those special fruit the Dragon Folk had, the large white spherical fruit.

Next we moved into the area of land where the Bandit Camp was located. The river stopped us from crossing further into this region so we followed it south towards the edge of the forest.

A decision was then made to not cross the river but search outside of the forest, the area that we had marked down as ‘Bat Cave’.

The ‘Bat Cave’ was soon located and Maugoth lead the way inwards. He decided to clear the bats from the cave by banging his axe on his shield and shouting….

After that I healed myself and Kern but couldn’t heal Mikhail. It was lucky Maugoth wasn’t injured as I wouldn’t have healed him, such a foolish thing to do.

Into the cave we ventured and soon we were set upon by a Giant Beetle.. Maugoth cut its head in half with a single swipe of his axe. It’s almost as if he’s finally mastered the use of this axe.

Onwards we continued and soon came upon more beetles. This time blue in colour and a lot smaller than the Giant Beetle but still large enough to injure us. After a brief fight three died, one cut in half by the axe of Maugoth, the other two died from single arrow wounds, fired from my bow.

What shall we find further in? Or should we return as we’re down to less than one hours lantern time…

Hang em high

A quick bit of legal work from us resulted in the lord being hung, his last will shows he has a son, so I expect we will meet him and have to kill him at some point. A bit of rest and we are now off to finish mapping the areas we have missed, Trades back up and I’m sure my breast plate will show up soon. Lets do this !


We are under siege , the lords men are attacking.

Brave Kern sneaks with skill into the tent while this is happening, finds the charter that is a obvious fake and brings it to the older knight. Zolkin panics and attempts to kill Kern, the older knight disarms him and Zolkin flees with Mikhail in hot pursuit, Adrolin takes the horse from under Zolkin with a single shot from his bow(skill beyond words) . Maugoth points out that the knights and Zolkin have broken the law and pardons all but Zolkin. The traders are compensated and the knights leave. We now have to decided what we do with Zolkin. ( he’s favoured by the king ) Next session…Vengeance is a dish best served with sausages and ale, seasoned with a little bit of hanging….

To Parley, or to not...
Maugoth's new career idea

There Maugoth and I (Adroolin Windreader) stood waiting to be led to the camp of the so called ‘Charter Holder’.

We were both held to wait for too long. Long enough for Maugoth to start to get fidgety for which once, it didn’t end with the use of an axe (but could have been close).

Soon after Lord Zolkin of Turov joined us with two of his Knights. The young Sir Perival and what appeared to be his father, Sir Wykenham.

We asked to see their Charter and showed ours as agreed within the confines of this parley but soon after things got a little heated when Maugoth employed his negotiation skills and proceeded to upset the entire tent. Sir Perival finally stormed from the tent after issuing Maugoth with another duel.

We left after being dismissed, still not having seen the Lord’s Charter.

Later that evening Perival came out with his retinue of servants ready for the Duel. A jousting Duel it appeared. Maugoth was very annoyed by this and started calling the Knight by many un-friendly names who soon agreed to meet Maugoths request of fighting on foot.

A suprise revealed itself then. I had already commented to the others that I felt that the elder Knight didn’t seem too friendly with the Lord. We soon found out that was the truth as Perival spoke with us and told us we needed to ‘discredit’ the Lord and if we could, they’d leave taking their troops with them.

The next morning Maugoth quickly raised the white flag and requested Parley once more. He was ignored. The weather had taken a turn and was drizzling with rain. Undetered by their ignorace Maugoth left the Trading Post and proceeded on foot towards the camp.

It wasn’t long before I was requested to join him, and after doing so, we both entered the tent of the Lord Zolkin. We made it very clear that we had discovered that our Charter gave us full permission (as it was approved by the King) and we now demanded to see the Lords Charter. The Zolkin looked very uncomfortable with this news.

Both Knights had joined us in the tent, but over time both were dismissed. We knew that the Zolkin had a female in his personal tent, and soon after when he left to find the Charter she came out of the tent and quickly injured Maugoth with a throwing dagger. From her attack stance it was very obvious that she was a skilled fighter.

I quickly cast Deflection which this female Assassin noticed. She left the tent screaming about Witchcraft… all hell then broke lose. Zolkin came out repeating Witchcraft stories (I had dropped my spell by this time) and then left the tent trying to rally his men. Perival popped his head into the tent and advised we ran.

Ran we did. I did it with some ease thanks to a prayer I have, but Maugoth didn’t fare as well. He did though come through as I confidentally knew he’d force his way back to the Trading Post (and some of the guards wish they’d not bothered, they’ll be a bit sore now).

Kern had the gates open by the time we arrived and I quickly took to the battlements (for a better word) and shouted towards the Guards that followed, telling them we were attacked by a Witch! A Female Assassin no-less! One of the guards seemed to be taken back by this and headed back to the camp where it appears he shot the Witch with his crossbow. That was when all Hell really didn’t break lose….

Well it's a bit quite int it.

We waited for lord cockhead to get back, he did with at least 17 men with him. Gud job we closed the gates before he got back. The we waited, he beat up a merchant ad dinner and then went to bed. Kern went to have a look and got chased back to the trading post. Hope Mikhal gets back with stuff that says he’s got to f*ck off. On the plus side He may have made his camp outside of bow shot range, but he seems to ave forgotten we ave a catapult. and lots of poo.

Soap at Olegs

Upon returning to Olegs and hoping to relax for a few days our heroes discover some fuckwit has arrived and upset everyone. Claiming to have orders from Lord Astroth he has claimed Oleg’s and the surrounding land for himself. He has halted trade, claiming Oleg is harbouring criminals, obviously Oleg and his lovely wife, Svetlana, are upset, there very livelihoods at risk. The militia are bound by this mans apparent legal right to take over the fort, no one is happy, Maugoth wants to hurt him, Kern would gladly hurl an axe at his head.

Yet to confront this arsehole, the group are resolute to defend Oleg and his honour and to clear this mess up, The Green Belt Marshals are the law in these lands, it is not for this man or Lord Astroth to change the agreement we made in good honour.

In other news Bokan is still nuts.

Eggs for breakfast anyone?

It was soon to be discovered as to why my bow was ‘wet’ and how it would then be seen to be ‘broken’. Perplexed I was until we discovered later that some kind of Farie folk was behind it all.

Calamity was to be found at the camp during this discovery…. I’ll keep this brief to spare blushes, but a certain group member became the victim of a rather vicious egging and spearing by a tiny dart. He was lucky Irori’s magic was to hand to help heal the wounds.

It wasn’t too soon we discovered who was behind this as I myself heard quiet voices giggling. We called out and ‘spoke’ to the Faerie folk to which they fled leaving us to a quiet night.

During the next day we completed surveying the area we were in and spent a night outside the forest (on the edge). It wasn’t long though before we proceeded back in.

It was soon to be discovered that we had not moved free from the area of bear traps, but luckily for us the gods shined and we found them with our eyes and not with our legs.

We later in the day came upon a small camp. The camp was for a single person whom we found dead, killed it would appear by his own trap he had set.

Was this the hunter who had been setting all these bear traps? It wouldn’t appear to be so, as the amount of traps would cost a fair fortune and this hunter didn’t appear to be that rich judging from his attire and lack of companion (some kind of servant I would guess).

Something wasn’t right, and we soon thought something wasn’t right at all, was this more Faerie folk tricking us?


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